Signs of a happy family include laughter but also include tears – sometimes of joy, but sometimes of reconcilable differences. What do I mean by reconcilable differences? There’s superficial stuff like outward appearance, economic stability, and status that people place value on. Superficial issues are not always game changers if people are genuine, but they could also be indicators about people’s motivations.

Issues that should matter more are views and lifestyle choices. These may be compromised and should be considered for long term relationships because they will become irreconcilable if they are too different between people. And major issues such as personalities, habits, and religion or traditional practices are standards and principles that should definitely be discussed because they can be life changing for one or all.

My kids are the only ones who make me feel subconscious about my physical imperfections. Why? Because I know that they love me in spite of them – those imperfections hold no sway over how they see me. If a comment is made about them, it’s because they’re concerned that they will somehow adversely affect me. And when my grandchildren (or any child) comments about them, I know it’s out of curiosity and it still doesn’t stop the smiles I receive or the hugs.

This is how it should be for anyone who is significant in your life. Of course, people are initially attracted to you because of outward appearance. And once you get to know someone’s personality and other characteristics and habits, they either keep you interested or make you turn away. But if someone remains because of the superficial and ignores the temper or unpleasant personality, that’s a sign that they have an ulterior motive or  they are sadistic, masochistic, or superficial themselves.

We have to be concerned about our collective philosophies and views (like religion and politics) because they are the standards and principles we have told ourselves that we stand on. I mention them because differences between people can become huge when these traditions or practices are part of our everyday lives and include major things like having or raising children and roles to play (such as how women should act). These are the ones to consider for irreconcilable differences.

Thanks to the world’s advances, cosmetic issues can be dealt with easily. And more complex issues such as gender changes can also be made. But when it comes to internal things like personalities and beliefs, the only alterations that can be made are mental ones.

We are all fallible. Everyone has flaws and quirks from the inside to the outside that can be embraced, improved upon, or changed altogether – for our own sake. And compromising on any of them takes a willingness but can also take a toll.