I saw a statuette that gave me pause, and I didn’t include the picture of it here because it was someone’s personal creation and I didn’t ask permission to do so. I’m not even going to describe it for the same reason. What I will share is that the figure had an intentional hole where one should not have existed.

I didn’t ask why the hole was there and I believe that hole could have been placed in different areas for different interpretations. The placement I’m sure had significance for its creator, but that’s not the point here.

Everyone has a hole somewhere – in their heart or their head for instance – that represents a void that isn’t being filled. Another hole – in a limb maybe – could represent the wear and tear or scars and wounds of life’s toils. I want to talk about both.

The Void

A void usually needs to be filled in in some manner because the emptiness is intolerable. We as humans have a need for completeness. If not filled, the void only grows and can lead to drastic actions like suicide or some form of manipulation or violence that substitutes for the emptiness. The sad part is that drastic action is only temporary (except in the case of suicide of course) and doesn’t even put a dent in the emptiness.

Where does this emptiness come from?

I always thought that Maslow had the best interpretation of the stages of life and was correct when he said a person could not progress through to a new stage if they are stuck in one. The reason is that each stage has to be experienced and the goal of the stage completed before anyone can move on to the next stage. For example, if the basics of food and shelter have not been met, a person cannot concentrate on anything but survival if food and shelter cannot be obtained, or if they don’t seek a solution to meet this need.

How do we fill that void?

Some fill the void by attaching themselves to others, believing that someone else or participating in some group can provide a feeling of belonging – and sometimes that can work. We have to remember, however, that our dependence on this group or person is always tenuous because it is limited to flawed humanity. No other person is capable of filling another person’s void, and the expectation only adds weight and obligation to that person. If the weight cannot be borne, the void remains.

For those who accept their plight, they either adapt to it or they end their existence.

Wear and Tear

Just like the hole that creates a void in someone, the hole that is a result of wear and tear can also lead to a person either ignoring it and letting it fester or trying to heal it in some way. Ignoring it of course is detrimental to their health (mental and/or physical) and can lead to or exacerbate chronic issues. In the alternative, some seek pharmaceutical or illicit substances to alleviate the wear and tear.

Choosing to tend to or ignore?

It is up to a person – and no one else – to tend to their hole, because anyone else’s influence or suggestion can fall on deaf ears or only placate temporarily.

Following Maslow can show that a person starts the wear and tear at a certain stage and overstays for whatever reason. Safety and security is an example of someone taking their efforts too far. This stage includes providing for yourself and/or your family, and the concentration on a job can be stressful. Quitting the job and finding something less stressful may not be an option, but changing priorities between home and work can bring some relief. However, ignoring the stress by accepting the demands of either home or work without considering your own needs only increases the stress and leads to or exacerbates chronic issues.

Considerations

The statuette to me showed endurance and an attitude of “still standing” despite the scars (hole). I think that even though a person can endure or does tend to their void or wounds in some way, it is important that however the hole is filled, it is filled with the consideration of what would really help fill the hole without the dependence or influence of someone or something else.