When I talked about being impulsive or purposeful, I had only mentioned relationships in passing, but it’s what I was really talking about. The reason is of course because of the cost assessment that people rarely practice. The most important considerations in all relationships – family, friends, partners, at work and every other social interaction – affect whether your life is going the way you want it or others want it. I’m going to use choosing a partner as an example.

Scenario #1: Go online and swipe left when the pic and bio meet some or all of your checklist. You talk and hear all the right things for a few weeks.

Scenario #2:  You frequent a singles bar because you’re looking for “Mr. or Mrs. Right” because your bestie found true love that way. The night you get “lucky” you chat for a few hours.

IMPULSIVE COST ASSESSMENT

Scenario #1: Of course the pic is the most important and, if the right words are in the bio, jackpot! But of course the pic is the reason to swipe left. You believe every right word that is spoken and “fall in love” while missing what is really being said or omitted. And you agree to meet so that your life plans can begin.

Scenario #2: You may or may not know each other’s names (either real or whole), status, occupation, favorite color, mental state, etc. because the chat included saying/hearing what was desired in order for one to move to the intimate stage to hit and quit (at least on that person’s part).

PURPOSEFUL COST ASSESSMENT

Scenario #1: Real detective work (or at least what can be found) is searched after seeing the pic and bio to see if one or both are true. And listening to what is really being said and not said before committing to meet in a public place in the day time.

Scenario #2: While your friend may have met Mr. or Mrs. Right this way, you take it slow and keep your radar up for the hit-and-quit crowd. You chance meet a potential and sit in a quiet spot to chat and get basic info before departing. And you call the number given while still seated at the table to make sure it’s legit.

The point of all this is that no matter the choice, there is a cost to making that choice, and people should take ownership of their decision without blaming the other party, because if they did their due diligence (and still made the choice), they accepted the terms of the purchase. Caveat emptor.