Trying to find the right anything can be a daunting task, but how to begin looking or even knowing what it is that you want?

I’m not talking about an outfit for a special occasion – I’m talking about fulfilling a want or need. But what’s the difference?

A want can be something that is not necessarily required, or something that is necessary but desired on a grander scale. Take a car for instance. What everyone really needs as far as transportation goes is a sturdy automobile that will get them from point A to point B sufficiently and reliably. But that’s not how we function. We need a car, but we want the most luxurious or fastest or sleekest or most popular model (even if we can’t afford it).

So it’s obvious what a need is. And we do the same when we go looking for everything – the dress that’s designer, the gear everyone wears, the style of hair. And of course the person we want to be with.

I’m not sure, but I believe people have a grocery list of what it is they want in a mate more than what they need: hair, looks, stature, finances, etc. We know that those wants are not always going to work out – not because they don’t exist, but because of our reason for wanting those characteristics and status. And – let’s be real – because of what it is that we bring to the table.

That’s not to say that people don’t get what they want in a mate, but do you ever ask yourself if the person is who you need in your life? Of course you have to at least like the person but is it your grocery list that you like?

I had seen a court TV show recently where someone had already decided he wanted to be engaged so he asked the woman he was currently dating the big question. Of course it’s great if this is the person he chose because she is the person he cares about. But if his only reason for asking is because he wanted to be engaged, WTF?

The same can be said about people who have always wanted to be married or rich or whatever, but no consideration is given to the journey to get the whatever or if others are involved in the process, the consideration given to them.

This seems to be a trend with people randomly hooking up and calling it love when it may just be loneliness or desperation or wanting to fill in the blank or meet a “standard” or expectation.